Are you feeling overwhelmed by life? Do you feel the burden of everything is on YOUR shoulders? Are you the one who does everything at work, with little reward or no recognition? Are you the one everyone calls for help if they have a problem in life? Are your kids running a muck, and being disrespectful to you? Do you feel stressed most days? If you answered yes to any of the questions above you most probably need boundaries in your life.
Often people who need boundaries the most are the people who have the kindest of hearts. You are probably willing to help any one, at any time. You will go to any length to please someone, and make their day or life better. But is this kindness killing you. We know stress is a contributing factor to many diseases including cancer and heart disease. So knowing this, you need to think about how you can protect yourself and still be the amazing parent, family member, friend and colleague that you are. But its going to require you to use a word you hardly ever use, NO!
No, is your key to freedom. No, is the boundary wall. If you are saying yes out of obligation, that is probably where the wall needs to be. If you are too tired to do something but don’t want to let someone down, that is where the boundary wall needs to be. If someone is speaking disrespectfully to you, no matter who they are, you are to say NO to that behaviour. You are a rare gem in our society. Your heart is full of kindness and compassion; we need you protected. You can still be a loving and kind person with boundaries. This will free you up to make the most difference, in the areas you are most passionate about.
We are in a society that focuses on me, me, me. You are wired different, you are kind and compassionate. People who are “me” focused think this makes you their doormat and will exploit your kindness. If you find the relationship is not reciprocal, you are being used. These people will just build them selves up on what should be your glory. You are worth more then that. To the people who love you, you are worth more than that. Whilst there are probably people in your life exploiting your kindness, there are also people who love to unconditionally. How could they not, your adorable! You will have people in your life, to whom you are their everything. Sow into those people. Look after yourself, for those people. Look after yourself because you are worth it.
Its ok to say no to something just because you don’t want to. That is not selfish, that is self care. You can say no to the people you love, and they will love you no less. Kids might kick up in the short term, but kids thrive when you set boundaries. If anyone stops being your friend because you said no, they probably weren’t your friend to begin with.
Be strong, Be bold, Be kind